3 Tips to Becoming More Comfortable With Vulnerability
Imagine you are at a party and your best friend leans over to inform you that someone there has x-ray vision...and that he is staring right at you!
How would you react? Would your thoughts immediately turn towards your perceived physical imperfections you had tried so hard to hide under your clothes?
What if this x-ray vision was not only the power to see into your body, but into your soul as well? Would you react in the same way, only this time thinking of your perceived character flaws?
Take a moment and imagine what that would feel like.
True vulnerability is letting yourself get so close to another person that they can see into your soul, and being ok with that emotional exposure.
Does this thought scare you? Does it make you anxious imagining being in the presence of a person who can see into your soul? Are your palms starting to sweat just thinking about this?
Brene Brown, best-selling author and vulnerability researcher, explains in her book "Daring Greatly," that the key to living a "whole-hearted" life is to put ourselves out there and take emotional risks. She writes:
"Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences."
I thought I had mastered vulnerability.
I can put myself out there on my blog, sharing my true, personal thoughts. But I know that most of my readers aren't going to completely get me. They aren't going to see the real me because they have only a snapshot view.
Even if they knew me personally, they would likely not see into my soul because most humans cannot do this. We usually only use the external qualities of a person to make guesses into their internal world.
To be judged by people who do not have the whole picture of who I am, is not very heartbreaking anymore.
However, I have long desired to find a person who could really see me, the real me. This was a true desire of mine, so I don't know why I was so surprised when I stumbled across a person who could do this.
He came into my life as part of a steady stream of people who I felt the universe had delivered, for mutual growth and fulfilling certain needs of connection.
But this person was different. He was intuitive by nature and possessed certain gifts that allowed him to see a lot more of me than most people. That's when I realized....
I'm just as scared of vulnerability as everyone else.
Most of us need to overcome various issues and attachments that prevent us from allowing ourselves to even want to go to that truly vulnerable place.
As I started to dig into the reasons why I felt so uncomfortable feeling so emotionally naked with this person, I heard my higher self bring several truths to my awareness.
So here are 3 tips to help us become more comfortable with being vulnerable in our relationships with others, so that we can live more "whole-hearted" lives.
3 Tips to Becoming More Comfortable With Vulnerability:
1. Remember: It’s ok to be imperfect. It’s also ok for other people to see your imperfections. These two things are inevitable in your life, so you might as well get used to them now.
2. Everything in life is impermanent. People, especially. Let go of your attachment to wanting certain people in your life. Just appreciate them when they are there. Don't obsess over losing them. And definitely don't try to be what they want, because you are scared of losing them.
3. You don’t need to try to please others. They are trying to get to know the real you, not the fake you. Just be yourself and stay connected to your core. Say to yourself before meeting new people: “This is me: Take me, or leave me.”
How do you feel about vulnerability? Please share your thoughts below!