I know many of you have been anxious to know if I got the job, if I've danced topless, and if I'm still alive to tell the tale. (And no, that's not me in the picture, although I think her hair is amazing....).
(This post is a follow up to this post I wrote a few weeks ago.)
I have been working on this article for quite awhile now. However, due to the complex nature of this subject matter, I have decided to make this a short follow up post about my experience, and then write a more in depth post about my view of sex and the sex industry later.
So to answer your questions...
Yes, I got the job! (As a cocktail waitress at a strip club, not as a stripper...)
I walked in and the manager (a woman, in her late 20s) handed me an application. As I sat at the bar filling it out, a few waitresses walked around in corsets and skirts (nothing too scandalous), and a nude amateur pole dancer (with extremely small breasts, which was surprising yet awesome to me) danced on stage for an audience of maybe two guests. At 9pm, they were apparently just getting started for the night.
I filled out my application (which took longer than usual because I was fascinated by the small-busted girl on stage) and finally handed it to the manager. Without even glancing at the form, she gave me a welcome packet and asked when I could start.
I got the feeling that my resume wasn't as important as my looks.
I asked how much I would be making, and she said minimum wage ($7.25/hour) plus tips. However, I had learned while filling out my application that the only food items sold were vending machine type snacks and juice. Since this was a totally nude club, alcohol was prohibited from being sold (but you can BYOB). So, I couldn't see how I would make much from tips, and given the fact that most people were there to give their dollar bills to the dancers, not the waitresses.
After my meeting with the manager, I decided to stay for a bit to get a feel for the work environment.
This was my first time in a strip club, and I wasn't about to accept a job working in a place I knew nothing about. I intended to sit back, observe, and listen to my intuition to give me information about whether this would be a good place for me to work or not.
I learned that this particular club belongs to a chain of high end clubs around the US. Inside felt more like a performance venue, than what I imagined a sleezy strip club would be. Pole dancing is a competitive dance, after all, and this place featured well-known performers on special nights.
Additionally the waitresses and management were all very professional. This wasn't a place where waitresses walk around topless, drunk, or sit on their guests laps. But despite the professionalism and upscaleness of the club, the low pay made my decision about this job a no-brainer. I knew I could work at any restaurant and make more.
But if it had been higher pay, would I have taken this job?
To answer that, I asked myself:
1. Is this helping me get closer to understanding my true self?
2. Is this the best use of my time and talents?
3. Is this benefitting not only me, but humanity?
4. Is this hurting anyone in the world?
After pondering on these questions, I decided that this was not the job for me at this time. But that doesn't mean that this is not the right job for any other girl, or that it will not be the right job for me in the future.
I didn't interview for this job with the intent of taking it. I interviewed for the experience of doing something new and previously forbidden.
Before my awakening, I saw the world through a very black and white lens. There were certain activities that were clearly wrong in God's eyes: drinking coffee or alcohol, going to the store on Sunday, having sexual thoughts about anyone that you are not married to (I'm going to go out on a limb to say that going to a strip club, and especially working at one, would be against the rules although it is not specifically defined in Mormon doctrine as such), to name a few.
Now, however, I no longer believe that God has a list of rules that, when obeyed, will qualify people for eternal exaltation and lead to true happiness on earth. I now believe that seeing the world in this way totally misses the point of life.
Life, I believe, is a process of personal growth, leading to enlightenment, or unity with the source energy that connects us all: pure love.
I view experiences in life as opportunities to learn and grow as a person. And unless what I'm doing is dangerous to myself or others, I find great value in going out of my comfort zone and experiencing new things, for the sake of personal growth.
I know I hit a bunch of nerves with this post.
Hearing me talk about strippers and strip clubs triggered some people in deep ways. So I will go into those issues in another post.
For now, I just wanted you to know that I'm NOT going to be a cocktail waitress, or even a stripper (which was never the plan anyway). So everyone who was concerned about my sanity or well-being can take a deep breath.
And you can also know that I wasn't permanently scarred by watching naked girls dance, nor did I become a lesbian. The human body is what it is. Looking at another's body is not inherently evil and does not lead to violence or increased rapes. Those crimes come from deeper issues within the person, which we will go into next time.
Namaste, beautiful souls!